Archive for August, 2008

Change, change and some more change

{ August 29, 2008 @ 10:08 pm } · { Life, Spiritual Musings }
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I do not know why things happen in waves. I used to think God is teaching me something, like patience or character or faith, and He may very well be but I don’t know…just when I muster the courage to take few risks a curve ball comes my way. As my schedule is filling up  I am finding it a  challenge to build my private practice  because the hours I have available  for  clients I don’t have an office :(   So a few offices are available in my current building and it would mean a 40% increase in rent and I have been toying with the idea of taking a risk and going to a solo office to afford me the flexibility in scheduling I need.

Also, a lesser priority, we have been researching a new car. The thing is we have an ‘86 Oldsmobile and a ‘89 Suburban both with their own roles but what we really need is a car that fits all 5 of us, a dog, and gear for short trips on the weekend. The Suburban is too costly but great when we have the 2 kayaks, canoe, and 5 bikes (yes they all fit!) and the Old’s is great for putting around town but useless for short vacations. Hence we are wanting a Volvo wagon. We’ll keep the Olds for the kids…hehehe…humble pie! To cut to the chase all this is in the works and then…Tom gets a raise (good news) and a 6 month job termination notice (also good news…yes that’s right good news!). However, I struggle with proceeding with our other plans, new car and new office. Here is where we have a huge role reversal…Tom becomes the optimist and I become the pessimist, a rare occurance let me tell you! Trust me Tom’s job development is a blessing in disguise and a freak example of the irrationality he has lived under, what boss gives you a $2/hr. raise and gives you termination notice in the same conversation!!?!?!?!?!?!? What the freaking hell is that about. I must add, as Tom told me about the hour long conversation  with his boss I was fantastically proud of Tom. He stood his ground, proclaimed truth, AND retained his integrity and character. As Tom has described his boss’ actions I cannot tell you how confident I am that his boss is a diagnosable narcissist…I am not joking! I am a feminist therapist and I detest diagnostic labels and I have no problem labeling this guy…that’s how bad it has been but I may be a little emotionally involved ;) Not exactly a neutral evaluation.

So here I sit, processing all the data and thinking faith is the right choice however feeling conservation is safe…safe can be the right choice but so can risk…God I need discernment, please!

Sleep

{ August 27, 2008 @ 6:25 am } · { Life }
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I usually have pretty short sleep needs…6 hours and I am good to go. But now that I am working outside the home after work I am tired like I have never been before. So last night I went to bed early…like 10pm and got a full 8 hours of sleep. I cannot remember the last time I got 8 hours sleep on a non-weekend. The other bonus is over the summer we have lost our quiet time, ie kids in bed early, but getting up at 6-6:30 gives me a couple of hours of quiet before the kids get up. They usually sleep until 9-10am…sorry all of you who still have babies, it does turn around trust me.

School starts next week…YIPEEE! Summer felt way too long this year. I wish schools would do an 8 week summer vacation, the last half of August is killer. Anyway I am rambling and changing subjects mid-paragraph. Have a great day!

A decision…finally!

{ August 21, 2008 @ 7:44 pm } · { Life }
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We have been in a house conundrum for some time now. We live in a 820 square foot home with 3 kids and a dog…tight not in the cool slang way! In many ways, although it wasn’t intentional, we have learned a lot about simplicity out of necessity and I have no regrets but we must face reality. We may not NEED a bigger house but dang it we are pretty close to NEEDING a bigger house. I have always tried to have a global perspective and we are in the top 10% maybe even 5% wealthiest in the world. The fact we own a home and the parents have a separate room from the kids is huge, globally speaking that is.

Well, I am done with grad school and quickly working towards a full-time salary. So we decided our first decision was to be a housing upgrade. We have researched selling, adding on, selling again, adding on and so on and so on and so on. One bid for a 400 square foot add-on was $93,000 and we could whittle it down to maybe $75,000 if we did all the interior work…OUCH! One thing we both swore was that we would never be house poor. So what to do…

We did our research and have decided to pull $50,000 out of our home and pay off debt, buy a car, update our home AND…add a shed/bedroom! Yes, that’s right a shed/bedroom. I love it…it is  unconventional and it solves our dilemma and keeps our total debt payment close to a wash. That’s right between what we were paying for our old mortgage and the other debt payments our new mortgage will be about $50 more! The best part is if the shed is less than 200 square feet we don’t have to pull permits. That way Tom, who is an amazing craftsman can do all the work himself and of course the family will help and maybe some lucky friends as needed! Plus, since the bedroom isn’t exactly huge we still have to live by a principle of simplicity which is fine with me.

Now for that non-existent retirement savings…

What will my role be?

{ August 12, 2008 @ 9:43 pm } · { Life }
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First week at Family Skill Builders and I am really jazzed. There are some tough cases ahead for me but I feel like I am in a very proactive place with families in real hurt. Not that I could “save” them or anything but that what my role will be is real proactive however the parent(s) still have the choice to use the tools I train them on or not. I am getting an up close view of what Child Protective Services is all about in Oregon and I am looking more and more to pursuing a PhD. in Social and Community Psychology from PSU. My mind tends to work in systemic ways…see the root of a problem and work from the foundation up, but in our culture you don’t get to be one of those people without alphabet soup after you name! Plus I love learning and school, just got to figure out how to do the next degree without debt.

CPS and DHS are pretty quirky…what works well works really well and what’s broken is really broken. Maybe as I wade further into this journey I will have a less black/white perspective, it’s only been one week! But I won’t be surprised if my hunch was right. When an agency gets as big as DHS it is not surprising to find a bureaucratic mess with some highlights. I am realizing more and more the further I get into my career I am not going to be satisfied unless I get into a role where I can really be a piece of deeper systemic change. Maybe I am a dreamer…maybe not…God has called his Church to be the Kingdom on Earth and that is our (the Church’s) ultimate call, how the details will work out for me as an individual is yet to be determined.

Settling into a career

{ August 4, 2008 @ 8:37 pm } · { Life }
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I always knew I did not want a traditional 9-5 career…at least not right off the bat. I have managed my own schedule for 15+ years now and I have a hard time giving up that control. The trade off is I have three jobs, well technically 2 because one is under the umbrella of private practice but it feels like 3, and no benefits not even paid vacation. But I never got that as a mom, Tom’s employers never covered medical for the family and my kids never gave me a vacation ;) I guess I would rather be my own “boss” than have a lot of perks. Of course I answer to clients and have a schedule but I have immensely more flexibility when I need it for Dr’s appointments, dentists, sick days, and the like. My latest job is with Family Skill Builders and I get to be a so called super nanny for families in the DHS system.  Even though I am an employee I still retain scheduling flexibility because they have no office and all client visits I schedule and are in client’s home or at a DHS branch. In fact one of the job qualifications was to be a good self manager because you won’t have someone looking over your shoulder…that fits me! I invested in a itouch (business write off a perk of self-employment) so I can sync my calendar from Outlook and listen to music of course. Now I just need to get the kids back in school…August will be tough!