Archive for December, 2006

Jung and archetypes

{ December 30, 2006 @ 10:28 pm } · { Psychology }
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I am not big on the psychoanalytic camp of psychology but I have been reflecting more and more on the Jungian concept of archetypes. I must admit from the get go that I have done minimal research or reading on Jung so this is really a superficial observation. I am recognizing common personality themes in people I meet in all facets of my life. There are no official classifications for these people that I know of but just my anectodtal labels.

The one that keeps popping up is the person who can give a compliment that a few seconds after they walk away you think wait a minute I think that was a dig!. At first I thought I was just being over sensitive and hyper critical but then a fellow intern at Concordia was telling me about a co-worker of hers at Multnomah Bible College and I was finishing her sentences with what I had experienced and she said Yes, that’s it…do you know so and so? I was like no never heard of that person but I know their secret twin, triplet, quad…

As I have been working  and discussing my cases with my supervisor  we are seeing patterns in my clients as well.  Now  that is not much of a stretch since many of my clients are the same age and stage of life but it has gotten me thinking about the whole Jungian archetypes. I know I am not going to jump in full speed to Jungian psychology but I may do some more reading on his theory. The last thing I want to do is lump all my clients into predefined categories but patterns are intriguing and may be helpful if not taken too far.

My husband has a saying that I think holds much wisdom, “Don’t let your pendulum swing too far either way” 9 out of 10 times this is a good rule of thumb.  I wonder what archetype he fits into!?!? I better not go there…

Reminiscing

{ December 29, 2006 @ 3:01 pm } · { Life, Relationships }
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I better write something new so our prom pic isn’t the first thing you see anymore. Tom is getting a bit self-conscious, if that’s even possible!

I came to Astoria for a few days with the kids. Tom had to work and then was going snowboarding on Friday so I though what the heck I am going to get out of town. It’s funny comiing here at the end of the year, a year full of anti-traditions. I grew up in Astoria and even lived in the same house all my life. Change has never been easy for me but the thought of moving back here scares me now.  Every now and then Tom and I have that discussion and on one level I think it would be good but one the other (bigger) hand I think no way in hell! I remember what happened to city kids who came to Astoria and the horrible experience it was for them. It would probably not be that bad for our kids since they visit here quite often and have roots here but still hard.

Also I cannot change churches again!  As I sit here and type in my hometown, growing up here I would never ever have thought a church community would be a factor in any decision I made but now it is one of the top two, jobs and church. If there are not good jobs and good churches I won’t move there. I can just here Bob’s voice in my head, “Well plant a church!” No frigging way. I have only been at Evergreen for 1 year but there are a few voices I hear in my thoughts and it’s in their voice. It’s funny really. I know that is when people have made an impression/impact on my life. If I think of Amy (both of them), Starla, Brian, Bob, Chris, Karli, Nancy. Kimberly, Aaron to name a few I can distinguish their voices in my mind. Trust me I am not hallucinating or having a psychotic episode and I am sure you know what I mean anyway.

It’s really cool. I never thought I would ever find another community of Christ followers to call family. We have left two churches on less than ideal terms and both were very hard. Parts of me felt like my heart was being torn. And then recently the great thing is I joined MySpace because my daughter wanted a page and I was not going to have that unless I am on there too. But anyway, several people from my past have found me there. Most of them are youth kids who are all grown up, boy doesn’t that make me feel old! Some have stayed the course and others have wandered away but the fact that they still want to connect with Tom and I is fabulous. The ones who have wandered from the Lord at first were discouraging to me because I felt like a failure. I felt like I had let them down. But as I sit here in Astoria and reflect on my journey I realize not all is lost and the fact that they want to stay in contact with us is testimony to the relationship we built.

Although I don’t like change, change is inevitable. I have now lived long enough to truly reflect and see more than I ever could ten years ago. I still don’t like change and I plan to stay put for awhile. But I do know that relationships are worth investing in even when we part ways in the future. People come into my life but rarely do they go for good. A part of them stay with me in my memories, thoughts, and thanks to MySpace in my virtual world!  So I embark on another year of life willing to put myself out there and invest in people and (saddly the harder part but more on this later) invest in my life knowing that change is inevitable, and thank God for that!

December 19, 1987…December 19, 2006

{ December 19, 2006 @ 9:41 am } · { Life }
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This picture was actually taken in the Spring of 1988 at Prom but close enough. Tom and I met at my friends birthday party in Astoria. His friend knew my friend and Tom was the only one of his friends with a car. So he ended up at the party and we met. He didn’t get my phone number and I didn’t get his. We were both trying to track each other down to no avail. Then one evening about a week later Tom was at out with friends and was telling them about me and how he didn’t have my number. We it turns out another one of his friends, Chris Farley (yes that is her name), knew me from 4th grade and was friends with Roseby (the one who’s party we met at). Everything that happened felt like a weird 6 degrees of seperation type thing.

Tom called me on the 24th right before I got a gift from a guy I had went out with for about a week. I was so mean but I took the gift and then broke it off with that guy so I could start dating Tom. I am pretty sure I made the right decision!

Fighting the Bah Humbug Blues

{ December 18, 2006 @ 2:46 pm } · { Life }
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I am really trying hard not to get cynical this Christmas season. I just got back from Costco and I hope not to go back until well after the New Year! The worst part is not the buying and commercialization but the attitudes. I see fewer and fewer smiles, more sighs, and outright scowls. Why…why do people put so much pressure on themselves to get the perfect gift?

This year I decided to make all my nieces and nephews gifts. I hope to go down as the eccentric aunt who knits weird things! Actually they are all getting fingerless gloves, which I saw at Urban Outfitters for 20-25 bucks! I bought all the yarn for 20 and will have tons left over for other projects.
We also decided to get more  involved with giving to the poor and it has been tough, on one income, but worth it! We were busy this weekend and didn’t get a chance to pack the lunches for a crew going downtown from our church. So I told the kids we will have to get up a little earlier on Sunday to do it before church.  Victoria came into our room promptly at 7:15am “Mom we need to get up and make the lunches!” It was cool. This was the second time we did the lunches and my kids look forward to it every time. Next time I’ll tell them we don’t need to get up until 8, though! She also has started a coin drive so she can put the change in with the lunches next time. All my kids are generous and conscientious of others, for the most part, but Victoria seems to have just a little something extra in that area, especially when we talk about the poor and homeless. Also her passion ignites the rest of us, it’s contagious.

Consumerism I am afraid is here to stay so I choose to focus on what we as a family can do differently than all the negative aspects of this season or any other for that matter.  I think that is why this year I have not been depressed. I am learning to act in the areas I can and not worry about the things I cannot control.  Tom and I can shape the Advent season for our family and effect what our kids learn from us and that is where my energies will go!

Santa and Children

{ December 15, 2006 @ 8:40 am } · { parenting }
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As Christians my husband and I had some very important truths and values about Christmas we wanted to teach our children but we did not want to be anti-Santa people either. Now that our kids are older I think I really like what we chose to do. We sought the middle ground.

In our home Santa (I almost spelled Satan, Freudian slip!) has been a mythical, FUN, person that represents a imaginary game we go along with. When our children were younger they would ask “Is Santa real?” and we would tell them no but there was a person named St. Nick whom Santa is based on AND we would add talking to Santa is a fun game we play around Christmas time. Now granted at 3 they didn’t quite grasp it but by saying pretty much the same thing every year we were never labeled liars or had this emotional reaction to finding out Santa was not real. Plus they got to enjoy the season and all the childhood funs. As their cognitive abilites improved each year they understood more and more. To this day our kids enjoy seeing Santa, watching the shows and singing the Santa songs. I don’t think in the least that this has taken any joy out of the Santa stuff for them.

The other thing we did was never told our kids the gifts were from Santa. They have numerous aunts and uncles, their grandparents and we believe credit should be given where credit is due. Again no pain and our kids gave thanks to the right source.

We did have to warn our kids when they began school that there are kids that believe Santa is real and it is not our job to tell them otherwise. It worked pretty well. The only time it didn’t was with my sister. For what ever reason they decided to play up the Santa thing with their kids and so Ryan(at about age 6) was talking with Evan(a few months younger), his cousin, and it came out that Santa was not real just a fun game for the holidays and my brother-in-law came unglued! Poor Ryan had to hear his uncle lie and tell him of course Santa was real. It was a perfect example of why honesty is the best policy!

We take the same stance with the tooth fairy but with a twist! I told the kids that the tooth fairy was dad and he dressed up in a tutu to put money under their pillows. To this day when they lose a tooth the razz their dad! He can take it.

What I like about our approach is it allows the children to develop their imaginations and entertain thoughts of the mythical without having to disguise it as the truth. Plus we don’t have to figure out how we are going to break the truth to our kids and save face.

Christmas

{ December 10, 2006 @ 2:58 pm } · { Spiritual Musings, Theology }
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I think this is the first year in a long time that I have not felt depressed at Christmas time. The holidays are full of unspoken “rules” for me and I finally have given myself permission to bag the rules and do as I see fit. But one thing that I have held onto in years past is one Christmas CD. Everytime I play it it brings hope and joy to me. I know God has spoken to me through the words on it. There are some traditional Christmas hymns and some new hymns that I believe are in the vein of the classics. What amazes me about this CD and many of the ones at Indelible Grace is that they are deeply theological as well as passionate and intimate. I am challenged when I listen to these CD’s and I feel like I am being held accountable. Some worship music is good but it does not move me to action, and that’s okay I can accept it for what it is but when I hear a song with deep, thoughful and challenging lyrics it sends shivers down my spine.

I listened to my christmas CD for the first time this year and it brought me much joy. The cool thing is this year I don’t have the blanket of depression; double joy! Here are the lyrics of one of the songs from Your King has Come. It is what I call a new hymn:

Your King has Come

“There was a man named Simeon

He was righteous and devout

His Faith it did not waiver

This man had no doubt

But he cried to God” When will you reconcile yourself to man”

The Spirit moved him to the temple courts where he met the Great I AM.

Chorus:

Rejoice, Rejoice Emmanuel

Your King has come to you O Israel

Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel

Has come to thee, O Israel

 

Sovereign Lord as you have promised

Dismiss your servant now in peace

For my eyes have seen your salavation, now joy will never cease

A light of revelation to the Gentiles, this little baby will be

Your people Israel will be glorified, I see Emmanuel in front of me

(Chorus)

We no longer have to worry, salavation’s not a distant hope

For God has done what He had said he would, sin’s license has been revoked

Death no longer has its power, the serpent’s head has been crushed

Don’t wait another hour and see dust return to dust

But instead…(chorus)

Words and music by Matthew Smith

 

AAAAHHHH!!!!

{ December 4, 2006 @ 10:31 pm } · { Random }
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One week before finals and I have my busiest clinical week. And on top of that my kids are getting sick. Go figure!