Archive for July, 2006

Character

{ July 26, 2006 @ 10:49 am } · { Relationships, Spiritual Musings }
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I went to Don’s memorial service this past Sunday and it was amazing. I really loved this guy. What struck me was the consistency of character he displayed throughout his life. Perfect, of course not, but consistent yes. This man had much to boast about, he was a friend of former Prime Minister Netanyahu of Israel, he was head of the several college departments, a professor of Greek, district supervisor of the Missionary denomination, rubbed elbows with numerous politicians and leaders, but no matter who he was addressing or talking to they were all equally important to him. He spoke to my children with the same attentiveness and respect he did with dignitaries. There was only one face for Don and that was Don the man who loved Jesus and loved people.

Every speaker at his memorial reiterated the integrity and honor of this man. His nephew, a former member of the Canadian parliment, even told of how he told the Prime minister of Canada of Don’s passing and the Prime Minister spoke of how he had heard the Don was an honorable man. Never met him but new of his reputation.

Okay I think you get my sentiment towards this man and he may sound superhuman to you at this point but the beauty of all these sentiments is he was so utterly ordinary. I wrote earlier about how C.S. Lewis described humility and that is how Don exuded humility. He saw each and every person as unique and capable of greatness. He rejoiced for people when they succeded. I don’t think there was a competitive bone, at least not a malicious one, in his body.

This is my goal in being authentic first before God and then before my fellow humans. I want to be an ordinary person who lives a life consistent with the character of Jesus and someone who shuns superficial success. No matter what I do or become my character will be consistent with who I am in Christ. I think that is a God sized task and if I learned anything from Don’s life it is he first loved Jesus and it showed in his character.

I feel doubly blessed to first have a Lord who came to earth to not only save me but to walk with humanity and model his character for us first hand. And secondly to have had someone like Don to show me that yes it is humanly possible to live a humble Christ centered life and live it well. When I die I can only hope to be known as someone who loved Jesus and it showed not in my accomplishments but in my character.

Mourning

{ July 19, 2006 @ 2:54 pm } · { Relationships, Spiritual Musings, Uncategorized }
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Today I have spent in a  fog of emotions. My dear friend that I wrote about earlier past away last night. He was surrounded by his wife and family amidst prayer, song and as I was told many kisses. This man lived well and died well. He was the most humble and inspirational man, yet he was as ordinary as any of us. If I could live a life half as full as his I will be amazed. I can’t imagine how his family is going to co-ordinate his memorial service(s).
So all morning I was meditating on death and life everlasting. Then in the afternoon I was checking e-mail and got an announcement of a birth. A friend of ours had a baby about an hour prior to the death of Don. The cycle of death and life  hit home for me. As one person breathes her first another breathes his last…at least his last on this side of eternity. I wonder what Don’s first breath in heaven was like…one can only imagine the purity and perfection.

I am struck with deep saddness but not for my lose but for the lose of those who have no Savior, no hope after death. It also has caused me some shame and guilt for being so focused on myself and my own comfort. I hate that it takes moments as these for me to get over myself and remember to be Kingdom focused and to live life from an eternal perspective. Intentional living with purpose and focus even in the little things we do and say to the people in our sphere of life. No moment is unimportant, even our moments of rest, prayer and meditation.

Up and down all in one day. I think I need a nap.

Death…Life

{ July 18, 2006 @ 2:18 pm } · { Spiritual Musings }
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Death…what do we do with it? Often I think we should fight it but then again I know it is inevitable and for Christians at the appointed time desired but none the less hard. I have lost some important people in my life and each time I cannot get over the pain and sorrow even when in my heart of hearts I know they are in the prescence of Jesus. Maybe because I cannot fathom the joy that that must entail. It is such a paradox of death, at least for a christian. The pain and sorrow of death and on the flip side the complete and utter pure joy of being in the prescense of Jesus. For me emotionally I focus on the sorrow and pain because even in my most deepest times of connection with Jesus I cannot humanly conceive of the joy in death. The act of being joyful of death for a believer in Jesus is such a cerebral one for me. I guess to some degree if we truly understood what it will be like for us when we are in the physical prescense of Jesus we would all commit suicide immediately. To have the chains of humanity stripped away. Such a thing I cannot even dream of.

don-and-linda.pngI have a dear friend who is dying and to pray for his healing would be selfish. I say that because he is 86 years old and is a spiritual giant in my eyes, has two lumbar vertebrae fractures and and extremely swollen disc. Humanly and medically speaking he will not be able to fully recover. But I do hold out hope that he would be healed but only if it is fully healed and restored to his previous level of health pre-injury…but would this be what I want at 86? One the other hand he has a wife and if he dies this will be the second husband she has buried. He has children and grandchild who need his love and wisdom. He has a church that needs his steady faith and experience. So many things to still live for. The paradox between life and death…health and illness.

I feel deep sadness for those without an eternal perspective and hope. To think of death as extinction, none existence is so utterly sad for me. And there are those who would say my hope in a life everlasting is a merely human designed coping mechanism for death anxiety. Maybe so…but the utter despair I would feel at death’s door if that was merely the entrance to non-existence would be devastating.

Even if I cannot fully comprehend it I know my God will be there to welcome me, just as I am, incomplete and still on the journey a journey that has no end. Like I said earlier if I truly knew what that will be like I would probably end my life and my family’s. I know that’s morbid. I think that is the blessing of only knowing in part.

So as I pray and wait for whatever outcome God has for our friend Don I will mourn a loss or rejoice at a healing and ironically there is joy in both…

Prayer in Schools

{ July 11, 2006 @ 1:10 pm } · { Spiritual Musings, Uncategorized }
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In the past couple of months I have gotten e-mail petitions to reinstate prayer in public schools. I know that these people are well meaning but I am wondering if they have fully thought through the idea?

My kids go to a public school and there must be at least 10-15 different ethnic groups represented with just about as many religions or variances on particular religions, and those that are non religious. How in the hell are we going to fairly and equally have prayer in schools, and who’s prayer will it be. Can we really expect all the teachers, administrators, and staff be well enough versed in each groups prayer so that they all can be represented. And the last time I checked any child can pray when they want as long as it doesn’t disrupt the class. And any parent can withdraw their children for religious instruction during the day. They can even authorize a church group to do it, the LDS church takes full advantage of this. I have driven by several high schools that have LDS buildings in the vicinity.

It seems ignorant and naive to think that if we reinstate prayer in public schools that first it will be a Christian prayer and second that that will fix or even help our problems. Just look at our churches. Do Christians not have sin, problems, pain, suffering, social dilemmas, etc.?

Don’t get me wrong I believe in prayer. I pray, not as often nor as passionatly as I would like, but I do believe prayer has made a difference in my life. So I will not sign the petitions but I will keep praying and teach my kids to do the same.

Dreams

{ July 6, 2006 @ 3:12 pm } · { Musings, Uncategorized }
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Today was my first day of group training at my internship site. I am so jazzed. I feel more and more that I made the right choice of internship sites. My supervisor is such a teacher/mentor type. The other interns are great. I am looking forward to the year to come. I never thought this day would come where I am actually doing what I have always dreamed of. I set upon this journey in High school, then undergrad and now 11 years later grad school.

It has been a lesson in perserverance not mine though. I kept thinking along the way that maybe being a counselor was never meant to be. But it was always a nagging in my heart but it seemed so impossible. Other dreams and ambitions have come and gone and I don’t miss them or feel incomplete because I didn’t pursue them further. But this one has always been there even if at times it was a small flicker. In fact I never have really even prayed for it to happen that is how hopeless I thought it was.

I don’t know but calling may seem like a better description of what this is. Since in all honesty I gave up. I don’t know if I like the idea of a calling because it seems too permanent. What if I change my mind later or do something different with my degree later. Calling, career, choice whatever it is; it is great for now and in all reality now is all any of us can count on.

My Dad

{ July 1, 2006 @ 10:43 pm } · { Relationships, Uncategorized }
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Burt Munro (Anthony Hopkins) in the World’sFastest Indian reminds so much of my dad. Not so much in specifics but more so in general personality characteristics. My dad has never done anything the conventional way. He has such a radical sense of how to do things it’s funny. My dad is a farm boy from Finland who immigrated to America, Minnesota to be exact, in 1958 with his wife and 2 young daughters and $500 in his pocket. He worked at a paper mill and built his first home $1,000 at a time. While they were building their first home they lived in a 1 bedroom shack. As soon as the basement of the new home was finished they moved in and continued to build the main floor. They had 4 more children in Minnesota and buried one of them before they moved to Astoria Oregon and had me! My parents still live there and they still drive each other nuts. My dad is one of those kind of guys who could fix anything with just about anything, kind of like McGyver and my husband, quinky dink, I don’ think so! They say girls end up marry someone like their dad. Tom is like my dad in his good traits and unlike my dad in his bad ways. Unfortunately my dad is an alcoholic. The nicest drunk I have ever known but in many was that’s the saddest part. Sometimes I think it would be easier to swallow if he was mean drunk but a nice drunk is just plain sad. But enough of the sad things. My dad has lived a hard and adventurous life. As I watched the Worlds’ Fastest Indian I smiled alot as I saw the similiarities between my dad and Burt. I think I will choose to think upon the good traits of my dad and keep praying for the other stuff. I love my dad.