Archive for May, 2006

Silly Teenger!

I love you Anna, you make me chuckle. When I was in youth ministry I used to get tons of these but now I only get a few from my favorite niece and I smile…memories.

***20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity***

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds.”

7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy.”

8. Don’t use any punctuation

9 As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds
all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party
because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, “Rock
Bottom.”

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling
“run for your lives, they’re loose!”

19. Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go.”

20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity… Send this
e-mail to someone to make them smile… It’s called therapy.

Chapter closing – Chapter Starting

June will be my last month on my job. I have been working for a church I used to attend and this will be my last official tie with them. I think it will be good but scary. How does one slash a third of the family budget that is not very high to begin with. I know that we will be fine and it is only for a short season but none the less painful.

The hard thing with this change is one of my good friends is taking over for me and I need to place firm boundaries over “shop” talk. I cannot get sucked back into the vortex of TP (the churhces initials). I can’t be her endless consultant and advisor. It will kill our friendship. The hard thing for me is having the courage to set the boundary and hold firm to it and try to stay as matter of fact as possible.

The cool thing is we have landed in a fabulous community. It has taken awhile for it to feel like home. It has made sense for us but the feeling that this is my community has taken a little longer. I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that I have been connected to our old church all this time. But I also think it has to do with the fact that this is the first church I have ever been to where I didn’t have a built in social group. My equilibrium has been shaken it is good, hard, but good. The last 6 months has been a time of incredible personal and spiritual growth.

So as a chapter closes and new chapter begins and I am scared and excited at the same time.

One of my favorite blogs

I so miss Kirby and Priscilla. Kirby blogs, way too little in my humble opinion, but it’s something. You should read his stuff http://www.kirbyatkins.blogspot.com/ He is screen play writer and animator, Jimmy Neutron sound familiar, and he is a down to earth good guy. My favorite Calvinist, non-celebate Benadictine Monk.

Fresh Start

This is a season in my life full of new beginnings and fresh starts. Don't get me wrong my life has been great, above average, full of love and blessings. But internally I have lived to please everyone around me and tried to be everyhting I imagined people wanted me to be. The thing is I forgot to be me, the unique person that God created me to be.

In my past I have believed the lie that I am not good enough, smart enough, and it is all about what other people think about me. My mom, I love her, but she had a way of saying things that just are wrong. I remeber she would often say "It's not bad to be poor, but you don't have to look poor" Ouch! What does it look to be poor, anyway? My point is I was raised to believe that image and community standing is important.

What this has done to me is create a need to filter every decision, thought and idea throught the filter of "What would other people think of this or How will others view me?" I have not allowed myself to speak and be freely me except with a very small trusted group of people. Poor Tom (my husband).

So the point of this blog is for me to process my thoughts and reveal my true self to myself. I have chosen to do it in a semi-public place because I no longer want to live under an umbrella of shame, guilt and depression. This is not a journey of improving my self-esteem, it is so much more, it is a journey of being authentic before God and my community so that the image of God in me can shine and He can be glorified. I know that sounds "churchy" it is not meant to be…I guess you'll just have to take my word at that.